There ain't shit going on here in Candy Land. See you turds in the playoffs.4/5/09 7:30pm, The Box
vs.
DO ITMonday, March 30, 2009
Ya...
There ain't shit going on here in Candy Land. See you turds in the playoffs.4/5/09 7:30pm, The Box
vs.
DO IT
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Not So Fast My Friend, CANDY LOSES
Going into last nights game, the question was could Free Candy pull off legit back-to-back wins for the first time in franchise history? If you know anything about Free Candy, it was obvious they were going to shit the bed. This game was a straight kick in the balls.
Candy actually played a great team game, making crisp passes and having some nice scoring chances. Story of the game: Big Ben struck 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11, and fucking 12.
DICK
Someone forgot to tell Candy you're actually supposed to put the puck in the net and not hit each post at least 3 times.
Somewhere in the game Pat Scoville gets his 23489025 goal of the season. MVP anyone? About half way through the second period his back finally gives after carrying the team for the last 10 games.
Also note Jeremy Virgin still has the hot hand, scoring 4 goals in his last 2 games.
Paladino gets a pass right open in front of the net and can't handle it. His shakiness is read as a 9.6 on the ritcher scale. A city is left in ruins halfway across the world.
TJ Miller goes oldschool and puts the horseblinders on for old time sakes. BURIES IT.
Candy is tied 3-3 late in the game, cycling the puck in the Bee's zone. Turnover city, Kenny Wu on the breakaway. GOAL. 4-3 Bumble Bee's. BARF JOB.
FC tries pulling the goalie, Mr. Wu puts salt in the wounds. 5-3.
Kevin Thornhill, still recovering from his PMS/flu is heard shouting from the stands "it's ovvvvaaaaaa!"
GAME
After the game TJ Doherty makes an unreal move in the locker room and spits off all the stats for the whole silver league.
Looking ahead:
Rumor has it Derek Rupert is returning to his natural position of defense. Who will be Pat Scovilles new wingman? Only time will tell....
Candy actually played a great team game, making crisp passes and having some nice scoring chances. Story of the game: Big Ben struck 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11, and fucking 12.
DICK
Someone forgot to tell Candy you're actually supposed to put the puck in the net and not hit each post at least 3 times.
Somewhere in the game Pat Scoville gets his 23489025 goal of the season. MVP anyone? About half way through the second period his back finally gives after carrying the team for the last 10 games.
Also note Jeremy Virgin still has the hot hand, scoring 4 goals in his last 2 games.
Paladino gets a pass right open in front of the net and can't handle it. His shakiness is read as a 9.6 on the ritcher scale. A city is left in ruins halfway across the world.
(sorry Potash!)
TJ Miller goes oldschool and puts the horseblinders on for old time sakes. BURIES IT.
Candy is tied 3-3 late in the game, cycling the puck in the Bee's zone. Turnover city, Kenny Wu on the breakaway. GOAL. 4-3 Bumble Bee's. BARF JOB.
FC tries pulling the goalie, Mr. Wu puts salt in the wounds. 5-3.
Kevin Thornhill, still recovering from his PMS/flu is heard shouting from the stands "it's ovvvvaaaaaa!"
Thornhill is:
GAME
After the game TJ Doherty makes an unreal move in the locker room and spits off all the stats for the whole silver league.
Introducing TJ Doherty as Rainman
Looking ahead:
Rumor has it Derek Rupert is returning to his natural position of defense. Who will be Pat Scovilles new wingman? Only time will tell....
DO IT!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Delta Dental: Play That Made You Smile
Free Candy vs. Cider Box Monkeys
Defenseman turned forward, Derek Rupert on a pass from Patrick Scoville.Unfortunately, due to insufficient funds, The Box no longer broadcasts games locally.
Photographer: Unknown
Cider Box Turds
Cider Box Monkeys came out shorthanded but put up a decent fight early but just got outskated and out puck possessioned...Candy kept the puck most of the game and passed their way to a pretty solid victory. It was the best the team has looked all season...
1st Half Recap...
Candy started with Scoville and Rupert and paired up to start and it looked like Candy would be up 1-0 immediately but Rupert Hillary Duffed it...
let the rain fall down and wash away...thats lyrics to a hillary duff song...dont ask me how i know...
The rest of the first half was pretty well played and Scoville and Virgin had first half markers to lead Candy to a 2-1 intermission lead..heroics would then be found...
The 2nd half was testy early but Virgin put down the pedal and before we knew it Candy had a big lead and Virgin took his pick of the hats spewed on the rink...well not really but he did have a hat trick...
Game! 6-2 Free Candy
Oh and Bobby Orr Miller had a goal in there somewhere...
Recap:
Scoville - 2g
Virgin - 3g
Miller - 1g...1st of the season...who paid this guy 6.5 for 4 years???
Rupert - fanned
Whitbey - solid game
DO IT!
1st Half Recap...
Candy started with Scoville and Rupert and paired up to start and it looked like Candy would be up 1-0 immediately but Rupert Hillary Duffed it...
let the rain fall down and wash away...thats lyrics to a hillary duff song...dont ask me how i know...
The rest of the first half was pretty well played and Scoville and Virgin had first half markers to lead Candy to a 2-1 intermission lead..heroics would then be found...
The 2nd half was testy early but Virgin put down the pedal and before we knew it Candy had a big lead and Virgin took his pick of the hats spewed on the rink...well not really but he did have a hat trick...
Game! 6-2 Free Candy
Oh and Bobby Orr Miller had a goal in there somewhere...
Recap:
Scoville - 2g
Virgin - 3g
Miller - 1g...1st of the season...who paid this guy 6.5 for 4 years???
Rupert - fanned
Whitbey - solid game
DO IT!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Free Candy loses....POOP
Free Candy came out fast and furious and was up 2-0 before Greenberg could blink in goal.
JOB JOB JOB JOB...Intermission:: Free Candy starts praying that they can hold on.
The Slashers come out of the break and slow the game down big time. Puck possession galore! Before you know it the Slashers have a two goal lead and nothing is going Candy's way. Greenberg closes his eyes and has a puck pinball off him and to the corner...shoulda been buried...I think Greenberg has been going to goalie school...maybe????
Is that Greenberg next to the 2nd window?
Candy pulls Whitbey...No dice...Game...
JOB JOB JOB JOB...Intermission:: Free Candy starts praying that they can hold on.
The Slashers come out of the break and slow the game down big time. Puck possession galore! Before you know it the Slashers have a two goal lead and nothing is going Candy's way. Greenberg closes his eyes and has a puck pinball off him and to the corner...shoulda been buried...I think Greenberg has been going to goalie school...maybe????
Is that Greenberg next to the 2nd window?
Candy pulls Whitbey...No dice...Game...
Game 8 Recap:Free Candy 7 Bumble Bees 0
This game can be summed up in one word:
DOMINATION
Free Candy's Defensemen Derek Rupert was playing the part of Benedict Arnold and there was more scoring going on than at a prom night party. His counterpart in net, Jonathon Whitbey, played as good as you can ask of a goalie, completely stonewalling the Bumble Bees.
The most promising thing to come out of this game, was the secondary scoring that Team FC was getting. With goals from defensemen turned sniper, David Menhart, and silent bud deadly Tj Doherty, and "the Blevinator" Chris Blevins, the rest of the season suddenly looks promising. One could only hope that they dont have to rely completely on Pat Scoville to score all their goals anymore. And I'm sure Pat couldn't be more thrilled about that.
But let's be honest here, there's not too much of a chance of that happening.
Game 9 tonight against the mighty Slashers.
DOMINATION
Free Candy's Defensemen Derek Rupert was playing the part of Benedict Arnold and there was more scoring going on than at a prom night party. His counterpart in net, Jonathon Whitbey, played as good as you can ask of a goalie, completely stonewalling the Bumble Bees.
The most promising thing to come out of this game, was the secondary scoring that Team FC was getting. With goals from defensemen turned sniper, David Menhart, and silent bud deadly Tj Doherty, and "the Blevinator" Chris Blevins, the rest of the season suddenly looks promising. One could only hope that they dont have to rely completely on Pat Scoville to score all their goals anymore. And I'm sure Pat couldn't be more thrilled about that.
But let's be honest here, there's not too much of a chance of that happening.
Game 9 tonight against the mighty Slashers.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
Scouting the Prospects
Almost halfway through the season, it's time to look at Free Candy's upcoming young prospects. With FC in a constant rebuilding state, GM Derek Rupert may want to look at some of these options in upcoming seasons.
Rankings as of 3.6.09:
1. Richard Martz/5g, 3a, 8pts/?
2. Adam Davis/4g, 5a, 9pts/Penn State
3. Pete Makstutis/6g, 4a, 10pts/Indiana University of Pennsylvania
Only time will tell.
Team scouts and officials will meet in the upcoming days. Come on back soon for a full report.
Rankings as of 3.6.09:
1. Richard Martz/5g, 3a, 8pts/?
2. Adam Davis/4g, 5a, 9pts/Penn State
3. Pete Makstutis/6g, 4a, 10pts/Indiana University of Pennsylvania
Could Adam and Pete's stock be falling faster than:
Only time will tell.Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Embarrassing
From the "When will the league get it?" department comes this game result...
With a score of 14-4, there's nothing "Normal" about that game.
Free Candy takes on the recently-embarrassed Killer Bees this Sunday.
With a score of 14-4, there's nothing "Normal" about that game.
Free Candy takes on the recently-embarrassed Killer Bees this Sunday.
Game Recap: Cider Box Monkeys vs. Free Candy
Fooled.
Well, the second rendition of the Thrilla in Chantilla looked promising. Until we saw this:
That's right, the number 55.
With CBM goalie Kevin Thornhill out for a personal night at the Caps game (where they lost 5-2, incidentally), backup (and son) Josh Thornhill was pulled off the waiver wire to play for his old man.
But in a Price Is Right-style game of Switcheroo, Josh decided to play out and instead recruited Puckhounds goalie Meredith Rodkey to stay for a 2nd back-to-back game. The younger Thornhill, sporting number 55, promptly took it to Free Candy.
FC goalie Jonathan Whitbey let in 2 early goals within the first 3 minutes of the game, but steadily improved thruout the remainder of the game, sporting a new stick. Josh Thornhill was shut out by Whitbey for the entire 2nd period of the game.
More statistics to come later today once they're posted on Sportability.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Game 7: Free Candy vs. Cider Box Monkeys
Eye of the Tiger: The Rematch
After stunning them almost two weeks ago with a Thrilla in Chantilla, Free Candy looks to once again knock out the ailing Cider Box Monkeys in the "Battle of the Basement" tonight at The Box.
Free Candy is riding a 2-game losing streak and is looking to come back big against their arch rival in the Silver division. CBM goalie Kevin Thornhill left the rink STUNNED after their last outing, and chairs were being thrown in CBM's locker room after the loss.
To avoid another stunner, Thornhill will be attending the Washington Capitals game tonight, leaving free agent ringer (and son) Josh Thornhill to fill his spot in the crease tonight.
There is no love lost between Free Candy and Josh Thornhill. Josh was placed on waivers by Free Candy management after last season, and has now taken to freelancing in his role as a hockey mercenary.
Josh Thornhill is Steven Seagal
Scouting reports also indicate CBM defenseman and heavy shooter Kevin Garrett is likely to miss tonight's tilt while continuing to recover from the flu.
Both teams are up against Old Man Time tonight, with a 10:20 opening faceoff. Could fatigue factor into either teams' game tonight? Only TIME will tell.
Free Candy. Cider Box Monkeys. The Box. 10:20. DO IT!
Recap: Free Candy vs. The Slashers
Ugly.
(Free Candy's Assistant General Manager for personnel)
Sunday's match-up between Free Candy & The Slashers was billed as a fast-paced, hard-hitting, high-scoring game. And that was exactly what the game delivered. For one team.
The Slashers, with their Gold & Platinum-level roster (but playing in Silver to make them all feel better about their lives) took it to Free Candy hard & fast, prompting FC to question "When exactly is the right time to 'activate' on defense?"
Pat Scoville continued to be a bright light on the team, routinely getting around their minefield for a defensive line and taking it to the net. The Slashers meanwhile played with a fill-in goalie while primary goalie Hunter Kent continues to heal from his back injury.
Free Candy did actually make it close with 3 minutes remaining in the game, bringing it to within 2 goals (7-5) and took their time out.
A few seconds later, Potomac Mavericks Professional Inline team coach Billy Harrington wound up & send a Phil Niekro-style knuckleball from Free Candy goalie Jonathan Whitbey's left side, dropping further than the Dow following Barack Obama's election and dipping just below Whitbey's pads, solidifying The Slashers' win 8-5.
Nuckleball King
Wow, what an accomplishment! The Slashers now extend their record to 5-1-0, winning 5-in-a-row. Could it be their roster? No, I'm sure that's not the case.
Next up: Cider Box Monkeys, Tuesday, 3/3. Free Candy looks to stop their 2-game slide.
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